talking with God

semantics get the best of us and sometimes make the worst of us...

...yet i'm trying something new. instead of saying that i'm "praying" i'm going to start saying (at least to myself) that i'm "talking with God" and as i carefully critique my word choice, i'm going to see what difference it makes. after all, if i were to tell someone that i was bonding with my girlfriends, the assumption would be that we're talking but we could actually be watching a movie. so when i say that i'm praying, the assumption is that i'm talking with God (it's a give and take) but i could actually just be talking at God and quickly running away before i hear his reply...

so, later on tonight, i'll be talking with God, giving him time to talk back before i drift off into slumber. i'm pretty sure i'll hear something...or maybe he'll be quiet, alowing me space to mull over whatever i've just muttered. i'll tell him about my day, even though he alrady knows, because i want to think through my day with his dreams in mind. and as i spill my guts to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of creation and redemption, i imagine the slow develpment of a healtheir perspective as God reveals a little behind the scenes footage.

but to tell you the truth, i have no idea what will happen when i talk with God except that he'll listen. beyond that, i'll just have to wait and hear...

...

sometimes i don't want to sleep. there's so much i want to do and if i sleep, i might forget...

what we don't know

as i walked out of an office today with information i should have known but was never told, i realized the truth of Hosea...what we don't know will kill us, or more precisely "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."

i realize that the verse speaks specifically to lack of knowledge about God but i see how it trickles down into other less meaning aspects of life like my job. there's so much i've had to find out the hard way. i'm reasonable. i know there's only so much telling one can do. some things will just have to be found out. it's unfortunate. that's why i've been spending time over the last 2 weeks creating a manual for whoever comes after me. my job is so multifaceted even though i have a title.

this small fry experience is teaching me about the big picture--God wants to save us and he wants us to be a part of the process of saving each other. so he has packed a lot of information into a book and he expects us to tell each other about it so that he can be revealed more fully (though never completely coz we're slow). i should want nothing more than to know that you're on the path to heaven, that you've accepted salvation and are basking in God's love. that should be my focus. i should be reading this book over and telling you what i've read...

i don't want you to die because you didn't know something that i knew...