it's all coming together

i'm hitting pause on the final details check. (this weekend is our annual CONNECT Conference.) you'd think i'd be frantic. i thought i'd be frantic but instead i'm shouting "yay God!" it's an internal shout...i'm typically only loud during competition or "no he didn't" sorts of conversations. it's also an internal shout because i'm tired, physically exhausted, and wondering how in the world i'm going to make it through the week without getting sick. minor details.


i'm hitting pause so that i can write all this down and hopefully increase my chances of remembering it. because today will come again: the day before the big day, the day before the major decision, the day before the day when all ideas become realities (or get tossed out due to delays, forgetfulness, train wrecks and/or Holy Spirit movements). i must remember this. the mental peace.
it's actually one of my chore values so whenever i experience it, i try to celebrate it and whenever i've gone a long time without it, i begin to withdraw. and the best sort of peace seems to be this sort, where statistically speaking, it just shouldn't be. but it is. hence my praise. 


God is awesome. 


i used to think that i didn't like details, just big-picture dreaming. even yesterday, i had that conversation with someone, made that declaration. but just a few minutes ago, i changed my tune. i do like details. what i don't like is not having enough time to move through them slowly and perfectly. (recovering perfectionist alert!) so here i am, the day before CONNECT begins, sitting at my desk and typing up a final run sheet. i'm enjoying the movements from line to line through what's becoming an extensive/seemingly obsessive excel file. i'm excited about the possibility that others who read the sheet will also like details and soak them up. and then i'm sort of saddened by the reality that some won't really read it...and they'll ask questions that the sheet answers. but that's minor.


the best part is this: God keeps showing me daily that when things are done by His leading & for His glory, they work out no matter how complex and time consuming they may be. whatever i need to remember, He brings to mind (His part). i jot it down and do it (my part). and i have a feeling that by the end of today, all lose ends will be tied. but if not, all will still be well. it will all come together. the details remind me that God is with me, working it all out. 


this is life. this is ministry. these are uncharted waters. 

commitment

a fellow campus chaplain and i were talking earlier today about how hard it is to get our students to commit to things (especially far in advance).* it's another challenge to add to the "what in the world" list. no worries, there is no actual list that we avidly monitor. the mere thought of starting such a list just adds stress to my brain. it's just that we want our students to happily jump on board and stay on board without first knowing that 5 of their friends are jumping, too. we also want them to stay on board whether or not their 5 friends stay. it may come as a surprise that so many of my conversations with campus chaplains revolve around student commitment.

and as i've made a practice of lately, whenever something i see in someone else begins to bother me, i ask myself when last i did that very same thing. so self, when were you last weary of commitment? when did you last make sure that your friends were on board before saying yes to something? huh, self? when? don't act like you're immune from such behavior, you goodie-two-shoes!

okay. pep talk. check. memory of noncommittal moment. well...see i have a full time job, i'm married, and i'm trying to live well. it's pretty much in my best interest to say no to things. not committing = time to breathe. and maybe that's how my students feel. after all, research shows that college students today are much busier than generations before.

or at least i think i've heard that. there's so much info being tossed around, stats here there and everywhere. perhaps my generation grew up so ridiculously independent; we're the latch-keys. no wonder we don't understand those who've grown up with parents, the connotations of which are plenty (on both sides of that sentence)...

i guess the plus side is that i'm not alone? oh, these uncharted waters...


*students, we love you...we just don't understand you and it's hard for us to think that perhaps we were once reluctant committers, too. in fact, we don't think we were. be patient with us, pls!

unexpected love

so i bought some roses this morning, a last-minute decision, and encouraged students to hand them out on this love-celebration-day. by 5pm, there were still many roses left so i took some and decided to hand them out randomly to women on campus. it was priceless.

encounter 1 (sitting on a bench)
would you like a rose? 
oh, thank you!


encounter 2 (sidewalk pedestrian)
would you like a rose?
yes please! (how cute)


encounter 3 & 4 (sidewalk pedestrians)
would you like a rose?
3 said: oh yes!
4 said: are they free? (a funny yet sad commentary on our culture)


encounter 5 (desk worker)
happy valentines day! (didn't give her a choice; placed it on the counter and walked away...hehe)
thank you!

encounter 6 (cleaning lady)
happy valentines day! (didn't give her a choice either; just gave it to her--she deserves it most!)
oh thank you, baby. (favorite!)


and the moral of the story = people need more unexpected love...do this more often!