seemingly irresponsible

i'm always learning not to box God in.

hi God. i'd like my regular dose of:
1. a 4:30am divine wake up call
2. my favourite (though expensive) granola
3. time with people i love
4. creative energy
5. rest when i finally get to bed
6. desire to do homework
7. etc

and then God does something crazy...he gives me this great idea. don't take the 2 classes you planned to take 3rd session. take a one-week intensive that doesn't count toward your degree but is on a topic you're really interested in. and for the rest of the month, work on writing and music.

can you dig it?

i can dig it!

and then, God helps me see that the reason why i hate structure right now is because the sort of structure i was living under this past year wasn't conducive to all that's in my head, all that needs expression. and i figured this out as i did an assignment for my "holistic small groups" course.

so things have changed, the structure is new and i'm learning to make the most of it.

ah. breathing is so good, so good. and while i feel irresponsible at times coz i haven't made the most of a 2-hour free period, i'm learning to hear God speak far beyond the beautiful darkness of 4:30.