100%

from the back to the middle and around again
i'm gonna love you till the end
one hundred percent
pure love

please don't ask me why i know the lyrics (or perhaps the wrong lyrics), just read on.

last night i got my biweekly email stating that my pay check has been deposited into my bank account. typically, i click the link to view just how much chump change is now mine and i make a mental note that tithe and offering must be paid. if i'm ahead of the game, i write out a check or set aside the exact cash so that it's all ready for sabbath morning's offering call. when i get to church, i pull out that small white/purple envelope, fill in the details, slip in the money, lick and press the seal and sit back patiently awaiting the offering plate. it finally comes. in goes the envelope. mission accomplished. tithe and offering RETURNED!

well, last night it dawned on me that there's no need to always wait till sabbath to feel such satisfaction. so why not get it over with in the morning? grand idea! so i pull out my check book and quickly scribble down my return. i slip it in an everyday white letter envelope and into by backpack so that the final drop can be made today.

the moment arrives when my prof announces our regular 10-minute break in the middle of our 2-hour period. i grab the envelop and the bag of carrots i packed for a snack and saunter over to the church. as i near the church, i notice that several sprinklers are on so i take a moment to watch their sequence and develop an action plan. it really wasn't that hard (though i felt a tad bit like an action flick chic) and soon i was in the building. i grabbed a tithe envelope and begin filling out the standard name, date, address info.

and then...

as i was about to fill in the tithe amount i noticed something quite curious...the amount of my check was larger than ever before. in fact, it wasn't 10% of my earnings but the WHOLE SHABBANG! what in the world was i thinking? in my eagerness to be on top of things, i couldn't even do simple math. i let out an "oh my!" which the secretary was too preoccupied to respond to, gathered my stuff, and quickly walked out of the church. i wasn't embarrassed--just almost late for class.

again, i had to confront the dramatic sprinklers and again i managed like a oscar winner. and as i walked i thought about the fact that giving 100% of my biweekly earnings wasn't a bad thing per se but was certainly unnecessary and possibly detrimental to my next two weeks of spending. yet, i couldn't help but think of the bigger picture, the one that points to how necessary it is to give 100% of my self to God.

for a moment, the connection was cheesy in my head. i felt a bit over the top. good grief michaela, must you make such a leap? but you know what? i don't mind the leap. i'll take anything that reminds me of my need to stay connected because i so often forget. i get cozy and i forget.

my relationship with God is very much like my relationship with my immediate family who i love eternally. sometimes we talk. sometimes we don't.

but we should always talk. i should always be at 100%.

pure love

(sorry, i can't help the cheese. it's genetic)

brought to you by the letter "r"

i sat down in an authentically ____________ restaurant and curiously reviewed the menu, truly uncertain of what i'd order because my exposure to this cuisine is limited.

as my eyes glossed over the pages, the english major in me kicked into full force as i searched for something i'd connect with. and finally, there it was...a beautiful mistake that read something similar to this:

tofu is avairable upon request.

i wanted to laugh out loud but pride and respect helped me keep the fun moment inside...until i turned to my boyfriend and shared the joy.

it really was a beautiful mistake. it was context appropriate in more than one way. that's beautiful!

dreams

last night i had a crazy dream that makes me think i have a boundary issue, a problem helping others recognize my personal space...

perhaps the dream will continue. perhaps i'll learn more.

and, as always, there's a good chance that my crazy dream was the result of a particular food combination or something of that nature....

or maybe all my reading and in-class discussion on the book of daniel has me taking my dreams much more seriously than i should.

oh life. i wish i understood you more sometimes. and i'm glad i don't.

in french

i had a dream last night. don't remember all its details but i do remember that i was speaking comfortably in french. it was smooth. seamless. quality french. i should move to quebec.

A (7)

A (7)
Originally uploaded by Complicated Philosophy

thanks Simon