it's so easy to lose.
there's so much going on in everyone else's life and keeping up with everyone else can help us forget to focus. need confirmation? just log onto* facebook or twitter or own a cell phone (or do all three). everyone's up to something. unfortunately, so much of the story we're telling each other isn't that important in the long run.
just brushed my teeth
i've decided that red is my fav color after all
or really obscure nonsense like:
i'm so over that!
and yet i go and read and read and read. 2 hours later, i wonder what happened to the time i'd set aside to revise some writing.
i think i'll begin a "no fb after 8pm" rule. i'll let you know how it goes. and btw, i'm fully aware that two icons died today, one certainly bigger than the other. yes, i've listend to his music, watched his videos, wished i had the opportunity to see him perform live. when i was little, i wanted to one day be as famous as him. i've got many good memories related to him. the best part of piano lessons at about age 7 was being able to watch his videos with my piano teacher's older son while my sister was having her lesson.
and what will i do with all this? i'll keep on remembering the good. i'll jam to the big tunes every now and then. but most of all, i'll remember that i've got 1 life and i must live it fully. and at the end of the day, if crowds flock to the hospital i die in, i hope it's because i've done a whole leap of God-business in this messy world.
peace.
* i wasn't sure whether to write "logon to" or "log onto" since "login" has become normative...man, language is a beast...
Thursday, June 25
Friday, June 19
unforgettable.
hours after a ride, I’ve just about forgotten about it. I feel it, though. my shoulders struggle to stay properly postured and my thighs are experiencing that jello sensation while my knees wish I’d do some weight training and my back needs to lie down. so I guess I haven’t fully forgotten but ask me what I saw and it’s much harder to discuss.
the route begins on Ritson. I pass a golf course on my left and wonder who these golfers are. who has time for this sort of expensive leisure? the road soon gets quieter and a bit narrower. it’s me and the farmland on both sides. don’t know what’s growing, just that it’s not suburbia.
I’m heading north and then northeast and then northwest. the wind isn’t in my favor but thankfully it’s not harassing me. I finally get to the fork in the road. wish I remembered which way to turn. right or left? the signs aren’t as clear as I’d like them to be. it looks as if Ritson goes left but then again it looks as though it goes right. I go left, climb a hill only to realize that no, this is not Ritson; it’s Columbus. oh well. at least I still know where I am. so I continue west hoping to soon bump into a major road. a dog barks and runs toward me. I jump, but not enough to leave my bike behind. just enough to keep me focused. must get away from dog. s/he doesn’t go very far, obviously trained to stay at home base. amen.
voila! it’s Simcoe. I head north again but this time the traffic is heavy, highway heavy. oops. what looks like a bike lane is simply the shoulder minimally paved. I press on. I’ve got a helmet; I’m invincible. okay maybe not. a semi just whizzed by. pls ppl, pls don’t hit me! I’m just in town for a little while and I’m just trying to get fit. and I’m just trying to find the next major cross street. I’m surprised no one is honking or yelling at me. maybe it’s coz we’re not a huge city. these ppl are still nice ppl.
and now we’re east. a nice road beginning with an “h” has me breathing a little slower. thank you residential community. somehow I feel at home. Howden. that’s the street’s name. I cruise along and as I breeze down a hill I get a strong reminder to slow down and watch the road ahead. it just might be Ritson.
ahhhh. reunited and it feels so good! north bound once again, I’m grateful to be back on track. it’s pretty straightforward from here. no hills, just a steady minor incline from time to time and a lot of flat ground. again, farmland. now passing a farm where they’re selling stuff. probably seasonal fruits and veggies. no time to stop though. must stay focused.
hello Raglan! I crossed here a couple of days ago, hoping to get to the end of Ritson but figured I’d been out long enough and was tired enough. but today is brand new so here I go across Raglan. the route is certainly becoming more and more deserted. the paved road becomes semi paved and soon I see the caution sign, something about a gravel road and proceeding at your own risk. I know better than to continue. after all, I’ve got road wheels and that’s a much more convincing reason to turn around than the fear of bears. no sign about that…just my overactive imagination as I see a huge patch of trees ahead.
so back up Ritson I go and over Raglan. southbound. collectors are clear. express lanes clear. and the wind loves me now. the ride becomes effortless in this direction even though I can hear the wind as I move.
would ppl hide in the tall grass? would some attacker jump out to steel my metal? okay, enough idle mind time.
I finally get back to the road I missed and figure out my mistake. the right turn is later than I’d thought. I won’t forget this now. stay left then go right. then pass the property that has a “4h fair goers live here” sign on the left. a little while later I hear running water. it’s quite inviting. but single women really shouldn’t go solo under bridges to investigate creeks or rivers. ride on!
there’s a questionable banquet hall at the corner of the next major intersection. it’s questionable coz it’s small and so un-prettty. oh Alanis, you would agree. needless to say, I’ll never ask them about rates.
now I’m almost home. there go the wealthy khaki-ed men and their luxury clubs on my right. I’m surprised at how fast I’m going. I’ve stayed pretty consistent with my gear choices today in an attempt to better pace the ride. it’s good.
the light turns red. i only have to wait for 3 cars to pass and then I turn right down Conlin. I wish these drivers knew what I’ve just accomplished. yeah, I know I don’t look like a serious cyclist with my long sleeved white t wrapped around my waist, revealing my baby-blue nike dry fit shirt and my exercise legging-type pants rolled up to my knees. my straight bars probably have ya’ll thinking I’ve just been cruising around town and you probably wish I’d take the sidewalks and stay out of your way. but here I am on your road, turning left at Edenwood then left onto Sandalwood.
home. just wish I could remember more. it was a good ride, all 15.89 miles of it.
thank you Canada. thank you mapmyride.com. thank you trek 7.3 fx. I should name you. you deserve it.
the route begins on Ritson. I pass a golf course on my left and wonder who these golfers are. who has time for this sort of expensive leisure? the road soon gets quieter and a bit narrower. it’s me and the farmland on both sides. don’t know what’s growing, just that it’s not suburbia.
I’m heading north and then northeast and then northwest. the wind isn’t in my favor but thankfully it’s not harassing me. I finally get to the fork in the road. wish I remembered which way to turn. right or left? the signs aren’t as clear as I’d like them to be. it looks as if Ritson goes left but then again it looks as though it goes right. I go left, climb a hill only to realize that no, this is not Ritson; it’s Columbus. oh well. at least I still know where I am. so I continue west hoping to soon bump into a major road. a dog barks and runs toward me. I jump, but not enough to leave my bike behind. just enough to keep me focused. must get away from dog. s/he doesn’t go very far, obviously trained to stay at home base. amen.
voila! it’s Simcoe. I head north again but this time the traffic is heavy, highway heavy. oops. what looks like a bike lane is simply the shoulder minimally paved. I press on. I’ve got a helmet; I’m invincible. okay maybe not. a semi just whizzed by. pls ppl, pls don’t hit me! I’m just in town for a little while and I’m just trying to get fit. and I’m just trying to find the next major cross street. I’m surprised no one is honking or yelling at me. maybe it’s coz we’re not a huge city. these ppl are still nice ppl.
and now we’re east. a nice road beginning with an “h” has me breathing a little slower. thank you residential community. somehow I feel at home. Howden. that’s the street’s name. I cruise along and as I breeze down a hill I get a strong reminder to slow down and watch the road ahead. it just might be Ritson.
ahhhh. reunited and it feels so good! north bound once again, I’m grateful to be back on track. it’s pretty straightforward from here. no hills, just a steady minor incline from time to time and a lot of flat ground. again, farmland. now passing a farm where they’re selling stuff. probably seasonal fruits and veggies. no time to stop though. must stay focused.
hello Raglan! I crossed here a couple of days ago, hoping to get to the end of Ritson but figured I’d been out long enough and was tired enough. but today is brand new so here I go across Raglan. the route is certainly becoming more and more deserted. the paved road becomes semi paved and soon I see the caution sign, something about a gravel road and proceeding at your own risk. I know better than to continue. after all, I’ve got road wheels and that’s a much more convincing reason to turn around than the fear of bears. no sign about that…just my overactive imagination as I see a huge patch of trees ahead.
so back up Ritson I go and over Raglan. southbound. collectors are clear. express lanes clear. and the wind loves me now. the ride becomes effortless in this direction even though I can hear the wind as I move.
would ppl hide in the tall grass? would some attacker jump out to steel my metal? okay, enough idle mind time.
I finally get back to the road I missed and figure out my mistake. the right turn is later than I’d thought. I won’t forget this now. stay left then go right. then pass the property that has a “4h fair goers live here” sign on the left. a little while later I hear running water. it’s quite inviting. but single women really shouldn’t go solo under bridges to investigate creeks or rivers. ride on!
there’s a questionable banquet hall at the corner of the next major intersection. it’s questionable coz it’s small and so un-prettty. oh Alanis, you would agree. needless to say, I’ll never ask them about rates.
now I’m almost home. there go the wealthy khaki-ed men and their luxury clubs on my right. I’m surprised at how fast I’m going. I’ve stayed pretty consistent with my gear choices today in an attempt to better pace the ride. it’s good.
the light turns red. i only have to wait for 3 cars to pass and then I turn right down Conlin. I wish these drivers knew what I’ve just accomplished. yeah, I know I don’t look like a serious cyclist with my long sleeved white t wrapped around my waist, revealing my baby-blue nike dry fit shirt and my exercise legging-type pants rolled up to my knees. my straight bars probably have ya’ll thinking I’ve just been cruising around town and you probably wish I’d take the sidewalks and stay out of your way. but here I am on your road, turning left at Edenwood then left onto Sandalwood.
home. just wish I could remember more. it was a good ride, all 15.89 miles of it.
thank you Canada. thank you mapmyride.com. thank you trek 7.3 fx. I should name you. you deserve it.
here's why
the other night i had a wicked-good brainstorm but i was much too lazy-tired to write it down. it had to do with the whole garbage-in, garbage-out concept. here's what i'm sayin (i just wish it was half as brilliant as what raced through my mind that midnight):
most of us have somehow or another been taught to be careful little eyes/ears/mouth/feet what you see/hear/say/where you go, etc. after all, you can't erase what's done and everything affects you (just admit it). and as we've grown, we've been allowed to use our discretion. so we make our choices/beds and deal with them/lay in them. welcome to adulthood.
the problem is that even if we only watch g-rated movies and listen to ccm, gospel, hymns, and classical music we're still often missing a vital step: assessment.
so what if i've just spent the day helping somebody. have i taken (or even had the time) to think about the consequences, good and bad? probably not. i've just said, thank you God for the opportunity and carried on my merry way. and b/c i've missed this vital step, the next time i lend a helping hand won't be near as effective an experience as it could be had i paused and assessed.
all this talk of oh be careful should have progressed to now think about it. let it marinade. synthesize this bad boy. what are the implications? what should change and why? etc.....
i.e. more growth.
make sense?
most of us have somehow or another been taught to be careful little eyes/ears/mouth/feet what you see/hear/say/where you go, etc. after all, you can't erase what's done and everything affects you (just admit it). and as we've grown, we've been allowed to use our discretion. so we make our choices/beds and deal with them/lay in them. welcome to adulthood.
the problem is that even if we only watch g-rated movies and listen to ccm, gospel, hymns, and classical music we're still often missing a vital step: assessment.
so what if i've just spent the day helping somebody. have i taken (or even had the time) to think about the consequences, good and bad? probably not. i've just said, thank you God for the opportunity and carried on my merry way. and b/c i've missed this vital step, the next time i lend a helping hand won't be near as effective an experience as it could be had i paused and assessed.
all this talk of oh be careful should have progressed to now think about it. let it marinade. synthesize this bad boy. what are the implications? what should change and why? etc.....
i.e. more growth.
make sense?
Sunday, June 14
the better way...
forget writing.
i need a fancy voice recorder, the tiny kind that slips into your hand and is barely visible at your mouth. the kind that makes onlookers think you're FBI.
i need a fancy voice recorder, the tiny kind that slips into your hand and is barely visible at your mouth. the kind that makes onlookers think you're FBI.
Friday, June 12
the road
gear: trek 7.3fx
acquired: 2007
miles travelled: 70miles (give or take 20)
enjoyment: priceless
okay, enough for corny....
so i've been riding these last 3 days and it is kicking my butt! not literally, of course but the figurative had me asleep for a good 2 hours this afternoon. nap, glorious nap! and while i'm not in pain (yet) my legs are quite jello-like so sitting is the operative position.
ever since the training wheels came off, i've seldom refused the opportunity to cruise around. when my family moved from liberia to michigan, i picked up a purple mountain bike (courtesy of KMart) and got to know the neighborhood. rosehill cemetery was a favourite locale; its stillness attracted me : )
high school upped the ante, giving me the chance to bike for PE. my classmate Scott loaned me his wheels and at the end of the term, i raced for our school's year-end track and field thing. i felt good about it overall but could have won if i wasn't so focused on everyone else's success. oh well.
while living in chicago, i really wanted to do the yearly night-ride through the city. i told Rubani i'd get a bike. i looked and then chickened out. i looked again and again convinced myself that it wasn't worth it after all...
now i've got my own road bike. it's got road wheels but mountain handle bars. the frame can accommodate mountain wheels if i care to switch and i'm sure i could switch the bars, too, if i preferred a true road feel. but for now the package is good and i'm told the bike is pretty sexy. i'll take the compliment! but that aside, i'm on a mission to do 300 miles in the next 30 days, working in rest days (happy Sabbath) and long rides. it'll be quite a challenge coz this area has so many hills. i feel as though i've ridden 30 miles by the time i've done 3. in its own little way, my body thanks me for the workout but i'm really wasted once the ride is over. in a month, i'll have great legs and arms and a trimmer middle and i'd better be happy too!
but how will i get there? i'm used to being consistent with exercise for about 2 weeks. then something will come along (school work usually) and knock me off track. i have none of that to contend with these days. so what'll the challenge be? will the mental drive hold up? will posting my route on mapmyride.com be enough? will the weekly emails of encouragement from fellow 300 milers keep my psyche stable? or perhaps my facebook family will save the day as they comment on my status updates... all in all, i want to make it through this challenge and i want to do it well.
as i flew down a hill this morning, i realized that the very act of riding is (for me) a slap in fear's stupid face. for several yards, all i could think of was all the self-talk i'd done when i first rode my trek. girl, you paid good money for this--you'd better ride it! you'll be fine...just focus on the road ahead. no one's gonna hit you. ride woman! and all because i now had only one good eye. what business did i have cruising with cars? seriously!
after riding with Nicole, my confidence increased. i did 10 miles on my own from time to time. then life/fear/etc got in the way again and my trek only joined me for limited jaunts to and from school. those days are over. it's time to put this sexy metal to good use. may my flesh survive...
acquired: 2007
miles travelled: 70miles (give or take 20)
enjoyment: priceless
okay, enough for corny....
so i've been riding these last 3 days and it is kicking my butt! not literally, of course but the figurative had me asleep for a good 2 hours this afternoon. nap, glorious nap! and while i'm not in pain (yet) my legs are quite jello-like so sitting is the operative position.
ever since the training wheels came off, i've seldom refused the opportunity to cruise around. when my family moved from liberia to michigan, i picked up a purple mountain bike (courtesy of KMart) and got to know the neighborhood. rosehill cemetery was a favourite locale; its stillness attracted me : )
high school upped the ante, giving me the chance to bike for PE. my classmate Scott loaned me his wheels and at the end of the term, i raced for our school's year-end track and field thing. i felt good about it overall but could have won if i wasn't so focused on everyone else's success. oh well.
while living in chicago, i really wanted to do the yearly night-ride through the city. i told Rubani i'd get a bike. i looked and then chickened out. i looked again and again convinced myself that it wasn't worth it after all...
now i've got my own road bike. it's got road wheels but mountain handle bars. the frame can accommodate mountain wheels if i care to switch and i'm sure i could switch the bars, too, if i preferred a true road feel. but for now the package is good and i'm told the bike is pretty sexy. i'll take the compliment! but that aside, i'm on a mission to do 300 miles in the next 30 days, working in rest days (happy Sabbath) and long rides. it'll be quite a challenge coz this area has so many hills. i feel as though i've ridden 30 miles by the time i've done 3. in its own little way, my body thanks me for the workout but i'm really wasted once the ride is over. in a month, i'll have great legs and arms and a trimmer middle and i'd better be happy too!
but how will i get there? i'm used to being consistent with exercise for about 2 weeks. then something will come along (school work usually) and knock me off track. i have none of that to contend with these days. so what'll the challenge be? will the mental drive hold up? will posting my route on mapmyride.com be enough? will the weekly emails of encouragement from fellow 300 milers keep my psyche stable? or perhaps my facebook family will save the day as they comment on my status updates... all in all, i want to make it through this challenge and i want to do it well.
as i flew down a hill this morning, i realized that the very act of riding is (for me) a slap in fear's stupid face. for several yards, all i could think of was all the self-talk i'd done when i first rode my trek. girl, you paid good money for this--you'd better ride it! you'll be fine...just focus on the road ahead. no one's gonna hit you. ride woman! and all because i now had only one good eye. what business did i have cruising with cars? seriously!
after riding with Nicole, my confidence increased. i did 10 miles on my own from time to time. then life/fear/etc got in the way again and my trek only joined me for limited jaunts to and from school. those days are over. it's time to put this sexy metal to good use. may my flesh survive...
Tuesday, June 9
kindness
i won't say names and i'll keep it short coz it's late and i can't afford to chance stupid sentences.
you see, unkind protest frustrates me. i realize that some things must be railed against but whatever happened to peaceful protest and fruits of the spirit? and whatever happened to getting word from the horse's mouth? in this age of connectedness, there's no excuse to do otherwise. unless you're a secret agent, a regular citizen can probably find you.
so for all those creating sites, adding rants to blogs, and writing indirect letters, please accept my apology. i can't seem to respect your approach which causes me to quickly question your authority.
you're not rude when you intentionally witness to a stranger. why should that change when disagreeing with a colleague?
you see, unkind protest frustrates me. i realize that some things must be railed against but whatever happened to peaceful protest and fruits of the spirit? and whatever happened to getting word from the horse's mouth? in this age of connectedness, there's no excuse to do otherwise. unless you're a secret agent, a regular citizen can probably find you.
so for all those creating sites, adding rants to blogs, and writing indirect letters, please accept my apology. i can't seem to respect your approach which causes me to quickly question your authority.
you're not rude when you intentionally witness to a stranger. why should that change when disagreeing with a colleague?
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