music lives right around the sun

in that space untouchable to human hands
so far removed that even our greatest disgraces can't mess it up forever
because what God has created will still speak of him somehow

somehow

***

and to that end, i sing. i find others who love life, love music, love God, and we sing together. the effects are incredible. but i don't want to dwell on them in case my pride goes crazy. so instead i'll just write about the gift. i can't talk about it enough, it seems. it's what i get from God when i'm part of beautiful music making. i can't help but say thank you and then just wait patiently for the next time. yes, i know i don't deserve it. yes, i'm aware of what it means (at least in part). it means that God somehow still loves his people because somehow he still wants to use us.

people often say that God doesn't need our help to save the world. so if he asks me to do something and i don't, there's always someone else--nothing is so person-specific that it can't carry on without me. but wait. at some time or another, we've all told God no. if he moved on after every no, there'd be no one left to say yes. and then what? what of salvation? what of heaven? what of his justice? and what of his love?

there are more questions than answers in my head because we can never fully understand God. but when he gives us music, i'm sure of one thing: he loves us incredibly more than we know.