it's all coming together

i'm hitting pause on the final details check. (this weekend is our annual CONNECT Conference.) you'd think i'd be frantic. i thought i'd be frantic but instead i'm shouting "yay God!" it's an internal shout...i'm typically only loud during competition or "no he didn't" sorts of conversations. it's also an internal shout because i'm tired, physically exhausted, and wondering how in the world i'm going to make it through the week without getting sick. minor details.


i'm hitting pause so that i can write all this down and hopefully increase my chances of remembering it. because today will come again: the day before the big day, the day before the major decision, the day before the day when all ideas become realities (or get tossed out due to delays, forgetfulness, train wrecks and/or Holy Spirit movements). i must remember this. the mental peace.
it's actually one of my chore values so whenever i experience it, i try to celebrate it and whenever i've gone a long time without it, i begin to withdraw. and the best sort of peace seems to be this sort, where statistically speaking, it just shouldn't be. but it is. hence my praise. 


God is awesome. 


i used to think that i didn't like details, just big-picture dreaming. even yesterday, i had that conversation with someone, made that declaration. but just a few minutes ago, i changed my tune. i do like details. what i don't like is not having enough time to move through them slowly and perfectly. (recovering perfectionist alert!) so here i am, the day before CONNECT begins, sitting at my desk and typing up a final run sheet. i'm enjoying the movements from line to line through what's becoming an extensive/seemingly obsessive excel file. i'm excited about the possibility that others who read the sheet will also like details and soak them up. and then i'm sort of saddened by the reality that some won't really read it...and they'll ask questions that the sheet answers. but that's minor.


the best part is this: God keeps showing me daily that when things are done by His leading & for His glory, they work out no matter how complex and time consuming they may be. whatever i need to remember, He brings to mind (His part). i jot it down and do it (my part). and i have a feeling that by the end of today, all lose ends will be tied. but if not, all will still be well. it will all come together. the details remind me that God is with me, working it all out. 


this is life. this is ministry. these are uncharted waters.