definitions

i'm in a pretty lengthy process of redefining how i live my life. i say it's lengthy as a sort of precautionary measure. i want to give myself as much time as i need and i have no clue what that'll be so "lengthy" seems a good choice.

the first step i've taken with regard to this blog is to remove what i do from the subtitle. after all, the thing that i do each weekday and often weekend that puts money in the bank account that i share with my husband is not the sum total of who i am. and "sum total" is one of those phrases i've never used out loud but sounds right. so i cross my fingers and hope i've used it correctly. and if not, i'll wait patiently for that one person who must be the rod of correction to fill me in in that oh so loving way in which correction rods do their thing.

yes, i am a campus minister. i am a pastor. i am a wife. i am a sweater lover. i am a load of things. and typically, this collection of labels makes for a pretty good day, week, month, year. but this year has been different and i feel as if the days leading into it were a sort of premonition. life will get crazy. prepare. be ware. but i had no idea just how crazy it would be.

2013 has been a beast. there are a few known-to-me reasons why that's so. and as i unpack each one, i'm sure i'll recognize even more and i hope that i never get anxious along the way as i heal and cry and laugh and pray. i have to pray. it's nonnegotiable.

check back in for more on this redefining journey. the mapper in me wants to have it all planned out perfectly so that there's a post at a very specific time over a very specific period of days. i think that's unrealistic at the moment. i'll post when i post. truth is, i have to get it out so it'll come. it'll come because stuff has started to collide.