reflection

a friend's blog just reminded me of reflection's peace. so here i go...

as i think about the week, the really fun times and the stuff i'd rather blow up, God's grace becomes more apparent to me and i rest there. today will not bother tomorrow nor will it allow yesterday to stop it from dreaming...that's what i hope anyway. i keep on asking God to fill my head with His dreams. and i've decided that that's one of the best prayers i could ever pray! thanks Holy Spirit for talking!!

these days i've been dreaming quite a bit about my scholarly life, my writing life, the stuff that blossomed in chicago. yes folks, in the midst of all that concrete, something actually grew! so now the aim is to really carve out the time to do it, find intentional well-paying ways to do it :) and learn and have fun and run around in circles clapping my hands...or not. i certainly want to use the word "notion" more often and concoct crazy long sentences with intentionally smart punctuation that keeps the reader glued no matter how loud her stomach growls, no matter how hard his eyes fight to stay open, no matter how many complaints i get; simplicity isn't always effective neither is it always interesting.

these days i've also been dreaming about music, the life that grew in alberta...fertile soil. it's not that i became a diva there. oh contrare mon frere! but i learned to love God more through music, love people more through music. and now it's time to broaden that sphere, too. if i record another 8 measures on my 10-yr-old tape recorder but don't actually work to perfect anything, i think i might just lose my mind.

but before i get caught up in my dreams and forget to feed my stomach, let me wrap this up by telling you the greatest thing about this week.

i had 2 midterms (learning opportunities hehe) and as i sat in the library studying for them, God gave me one of the most beautiful insights about His love. i was literally trying to memorize details about the themes and structures of Matthew and Mark when suddenly i was thinking about how God loves me. that's not natural. i don't habitually gaze into thin air and ponder God's love especially not while hoping that all the info contained in my wonderful moleskine note book will stick in my head for the next 24 hours. but there it was, a biblical revelation of God.

i smile when i think about the fact that He still speaks.

amen amen amen

also, my learning opportunities were fabulous! yay God!

the quote

The prisoner imagines freedom to be more wonderful than it is.

The patient imagines good health to be a source of ineffable pleasure--which it isn't.

All that we lack is a sense of the divine.

"in the land of pain"

trust me, it's a beautiful book by Daudet. i read it about a year ago probably...maybe more. it was necessary therapy at the time. the word usage is great. and i quoted from it this morning for dorm worship. i'll edit this post later and include it.

why am i writing as if someone is about to respond? is this instant messenger or something? no! it's even better. it's your voice mail.

you have 1 new message. message 1 from extension **** received today at 7:45 am.

i think i slept too long last night...