i'll have to start getting all my facts straight then write them down...be intentional about healing. who knew you could feel so deeply at 11? at that age, you're supposed to be fighting the drab effects of puberty not vowing to never return to a country that had become your home, your family, your life. i've always been a bit of a drama queen on the inside, creating false realities with my penchant for romantic tales. there is nothing romantic about civil war in your back yard. yet leaving isn't easy.
19 years later and still unable to feel positively toward Liberia, i need to return. go home. because the day i vowed never to return is probably the day i stopped crying.
it's not a good way to live.
Sunday, December 27
treasure
these days i read my Bible without the guilt of "thou shalt read your Bible" that i grew up nurturing and with the true desire to read b/c i know it's essential. i'm finally in Matthew, unable to complete a chapter each day b/c there's so much goodness in a section. take Matthew 6:19-24 for example. yeah, yeah, yeah. treasure. i shouldn't focus on money. money and evil go hand in hand. i should focus on heaven. yeah. yeah. yeah.
no.
i'm too old to take such a brash approach that's not even biblical but has become my interpretation of this passage and feeds guilt. why don't i enjoy focusing on heaven? why does this passage seem like an unattainable ideal? b/c my interpretation isn't biblical. if it were, it would be accessible and applicable.
so.
today i read it much differently. i've been spending a lot of money lately. start-up costs. and i'm basically tired now of spending but i still have basic things to buy. like a bed. and i've grown tired of thinking about quality, quantity, style, color, size, etc. i just want to finish setting up my apartment before i reach the 6th month mark.
so today, my head really got excited when i read that it's better to store up treasures in a place where there's no theft or decay. no renter's insurance needed. and everything there will be the best quality ever. but i'm not interested in the aesthetics of heaven, anyway. i'm interested in meeting God and asking many questions. i'm interested in experiencing corporate worship in heaven b/c i think it's such a vital part of our God-connection. and since heaven is a place of peace, it helps me realize that in all my shopping, earth can become even more chaotic than it already is. too many decisions. not enough time. plus i'd really like to be saving more.
conclusion? create a spreadsheet of all the things i still need to purchase. need to. not want to. price them. think about wear and tear and be sensible not cheap. think about being the minimalist i so desire to be (and currently am based on my apt's present holdings), then finish expending all this money energy. b/c what's really making the process a pain is that i'm unable to focus all my energy on the things i really treasure as the shopping list becomes a sort of treasure when i become tied to a particular item that i really don't need to purchase.
yes, this post may be a bit confusing. no worries. it's for me more than it is for you. =)
thank you God for the time to work through this and the amazing way your Word continues to be real to our lives. and the more often we read it, the more applicable it becomes. interesting. so true.
no.
i'm too old to take such a brash approach that's not even biblical but has become my interpretation of this passage and feeds guilt. why don't i enjoy focusing on heaven? why does this passage seem like an unattainable ideal? b/c my interpretation isn't biblical. if it were, it would be accessible and applicable.
so.
today i read it much differently. i've been spending a lot of money lately. start-up costs. and i'm basically tired now of spending but i still have basic things to buy. like a bed. and i've grown tired of thinking about quality, quantity, style, color, size, etc. i just want to finish setting up my apartment before i reach the 6th month mark.
so today, my head really got excited when i read that it's better to store up treasures in a place where there's no theft or decay. no renter's insurance needed. and everything there will be the best quality ever. but i'm not interested in the aesthetics of heaven, anyway. i'm interested in meeting God and asking many questions. i'm interested in experiencing corporate worship in heaven b/c i think it's such a vital part of our God-connection. and since heaven is a place of peace, it helps me realize that in all my shopping, earth can become even more chaotic than it already is. too many decisions. not enough time. plus i'd really like to be saving more.
conclusion? create a spreadsheet of all the things i still need to purchase. need to. not want to. price them. think about wear and tear and be sensible not cheap. think about being the minimalist i so desire to be (and currently am based on my apt's present holdings), then finish expending all this money energy. b/c what's really making the process a pain is that i'm unable to focus all my energy on the things i really treasure as the shopping list becomes a sort of treasure when i become tied to a particular item that i really don't need to purchase.
yes, this post may be a bit confusing. no worries. it's for me more than it is for you. =)
thank you God for the time to work through this and the amazing way your Word continues to be real to our lives. and the more often we read it, the more applicable it becomes. interesting. so true.
Thursday, November 12
together
there's something wonderful about orchestrating change on your own but something far more noble when the cause is driven by a collective...me and you and you and you and you... but how together can we really be?
Karen Armstrong seeks to use the Golden Rule as a connecting point at which all religions can unite and do the good they're meant to do. and as they seek the common good their differences will no longer divide them. my question is this: what if not only like my differences but believe my differences are worth not only holding on to but sharing? this summer my mum cooked a simple but amazingly scrumptious dinner. it was so good that i felt others would truly benefit in a holistic manner from eating it b/c it not only fed me physically but emotionally/mentally and yes, spiritually. good food is that powerful.
as is some of what makes me different from other Christians. i don't want to let the good stuff go but i do want to do unto others as i would have them do unto me. so please allow me to walk beside you and do good with you but don't ask me to let go of what i think is essential even if it ruffles your feathers.
Karen Armstrong seeks to use the Golden Rule as a connecting point at which all religions can unite and do the good they're meant to do. and as they seek the common good their differences will no longer divide them. my question is this: what if not only like my differences but believe my differences are worth not only holding on to but sharing? this summer my mum cooked a simple but amazingly scrumptious dinner. it was so good that i felt others would truly benefit in a holistic manner from eating it b/c it not only fed me physically but emotionally/mentally and yes, spiritually. good food is that powerful.
as is some of what makes me different from other Christians. i don't want to let the good stuff go but i do want to do unto others as i would have them do unto me. so please allow me to walk beside you and do good with you but don't ask me to let go of what i think is essential even if it ruffles your feathers.
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