allinone medical attention, canada style (but better!)

does everyone have random yet consist aches and pains? in other words, you've felt this way before but you don't know under what exact circumstances which is why it seems random....

that's my life. so i'd like to be able to get allinone medical attention at the drop of a hat. and allinone means every type of health professional (including specialists!!) at my finger tips...for free, of course! none of this co-pay foolishness that they never seem to accurately bill for so you end up getting an adjusted bill. foolishness! i want to be able to just walk into someone's office or make a call and get a home visit. common folks, work with me.

anyway. my feet get randomly cold and tingly. after a "thorough" google search, i think it's poor circulation. but due to what? is my blood bad? probably. do i want to get it checked. no! that'll be $15 for them to refer me and then $30 to be told to get a blood test and then somekindofmillion for them to tell me nothing's wrong. and the $30 people will tell me i need to schedule a follow-up with them and the $15 people. i can't stand these people.

okay, mabye it's not THAT bad. but it's pretty close. so i'm gonna go now and do some research that's due in a week coz i don't have the whole week to spend on it and i need some fascinating info to take my mind off of my strange foot sensations.

tmi? probably...

shucks.

talking with God

semantics get the best of us and sometimes make the worst of us...

...yet i'm trying something new. instead of saying that i'm "praying" i'm going to start saying (at least to myself) that i'm "talking with God" and as i carefully critique my word choice, i'm going to see what difference it makes. after all, if i were to tell someone that i was bonding with my girlfriends, the assumption would be that we're talking but we could actually be watching a movie. so when i say that i'm praying, the assumption is that i'm talking with God (it's a give and take) but i could actually just be talking at God and quickly running away before i hear his reply...

so, later on tonight, i'll be talking with God, giving him time to talk back before i drift off into slumber. i'm pretty sure i'll hear something...or maybe he'll be quiet, alowing me space to mull over whatever i've just muttered. i'll tell him about my day, even though he alrady knows, because i want to think through my day with his dreams in mind. and as i spill my guts to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of creation and redemption, i imagine the slow develpment of a healtheir perspective as God reveals a little behind the scenes footage.

but to tell you the truth, i have no idea what will happen when i talk with God except that he'll listen. beyond that, i'll just have to wait and hear...

...

sometimes i don't want to sleep. there's so much i want to do and if i sleep, i might forget...